Last week was insane. I had three performances to tech direct with the youth theatre group, a two-day conference to attend out of town, plus consulting with a web design client. This is, of course, on top of my regular employment. It was a madhouse whirlwind of schedules and driving and by jove, I got it all done. By sunday, Father's day, I was a relaxing happy bundle of clean code, standing ovations, efficient design, and new skills.
Today, I'm depressed.
Why is that? There's no one reason, or even pressing problem, that would make me depressed. I suspect, rather, that I've become addicted to the rush, the kind of over-scheduled accomplishment-oriented life that I've had since, oh, about sixteen.
Which is why this particular entry caught my eye, from Steve Pavlina's blog:
"If you’re going to spend most of your time experiencing rather than accomplishing, then perhaps it makes sense to focus on the quality of your daily experiences and not merely on the heights of your accomplishments. It’s nice to have a truly fantastic day where you accomplish something wonderful, but what about your normal days?"
Now, I'll be honest--I don't think that his answers would work for everyone. In fact, the idea of going back to being fully self-employed gives me hives. That was not a pleasant or relaxing experience, to me.
At the same time, many of the things he lists are things I already do--the early morning exercise (not as much as he does, but very regular), the journaling, the audio learning. The difference is, he makes it a regular habit, a focused part of his day...whereas I make it a fit-it-in-wherever-I-can kind of practice. Therein lies the difference.
This article also made a difference in my thought. With a daughter just graduating, and three more barreling towards life outside the home, my "death meditation" has been more about "Yeah, I did good, I did my job, I get a rest now." It's slowly sinking in that I now have about 45 more years of my own life to think about, in terms of quality and what I want to do for me.
Happily, there really isn't much I'd change, at this point. This wasn't a disturbing article, just a thought-provoking one. Thanks and a happy birthday to Kathy Sierra for the link!
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